Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Breaking Up

BREAK UP :


To separate or be separated into pieces. To interrupt the uniformity or continuity of. To scatter; disperse. To cease to function or cause to stop functioning as an organized unit or group. Bring or come to an end.

Denver, Colorado.
2:00 pm: The phone rings. A very familiar voice on the phone says "Hi, babe. I am moving out of town soon and I really don't think that things between us are working out lately. Everything that we do is going haywire. Its like we're not meant to be together. I love you a lot, but this isn't the kind of relationship I've wanted to be in. I will keep in touch with you and we can always be buddies! I'll come over in the morning to collect whatever stuff I have left at yours."
2:00 pm: "I think this is for the best. Yup, maybe we can be friends and have a good laugh about this someday. Thank you for at least calling me and being civil about this. I'll gather up your things and keep them at the ready tomorrow"

New York City, New York.
1:30 am: The tv is still switched on and some late night advertisements are playing. The cell phone on the side table vibrates, text message received - "I need some space. I don't want to talk to you for a long time."
1:31 am: Reply to the text message sent - "Yea, I thought as much. You can go *$%@ yourself!"
1:33 am: Text messages sent out to 30 people - "Hey! After party at mine! Booze is on the house!"

Chicago, Illinois.
5:37 pm: At a coffee shop downtown, "We're not compatible, not anymore. Its been three long years, we're different people now and I need to move on to something better. Someone who is older and has a better job tha... nevermind that. I mean, you getting laid off because of the recession isn't the trigger for this, but I really need to look for someone who is settled down in life with a house and a plan for life, my biological clock is ticking and I want to have kids soon. Baby I still love you but I really don't see this going anywhere. Will you please leave me and move on as well. I really don't want to see you suffer over me."
7:00 pm: "Hello Chicago, welcome to evening news at 7. Today the Mayor announced that there will be... what?...sorry.. This just in, there has been an explosion downtown, there are severe casualties and a dozen dead. Some kind of young boy with a homemade bomb was last heard shouting "I still love you" in front of a security camera. We will be airing the footage as soon as we can get our hands on it. Getting back to the.."

So, why do people react differently to the same situation? Circumstantial differences? The way things were put across? The basic nature of the people involved? There could be a thousands of factors for the different reactions that take place when a couple breaks up. But there is always heartache for both. While some deal with it by being nice and putting up a fake front, others face it and go nuts. There is also the type who drown their sorrow in alcohol and party hard. But then again there are the people who get engrossed into work or video games or just go get a rebound.

There are so many questions that you want to ask your partner (ex ofcourse). There are always things that you have left unsaid, things you have left undone, that all of a sudden you have the urge to go do. Like that walk around the lake that you always pushed to the next weekend. Or the flowers that you were going to get her next Saturday (its always next Saturday, never this one) or the giant teddy sitting there in the display window that you've always wanted to give her but never found parking around the shop. But this is all pointless, because no matter what you do, s/he will never come back. Its over. This is the end. Yea it hurts, yea its a pain to get over. But its finished right. No, don't jump into another relationship as soon as this one is over. Or your going to look at him/her with a skewed perspective. Let me explain. You ex never called you more than twice a day. This one calls you 10 times! Awesome. or your ex called you 10 times a day, this one calls twice, whoohooo you have S P A C E. Well... say a year later, the calls reduce from 10 to 2 or increase from 2 to 10... who is the unhappy person.. you! Why? because the calls were a criteria to date him/her. This is a small example. There are plenty of things that can change about a person, especially early on in life when you and your partner are growing as people. You will turn out into something that might not be what you like. An extrovert can never be happy with an introvert. Maybe they will get fascinated or infatuated with each other for a bit. But it is almost impossible. Also there is the "hypocrite factor", if you feel that your current partner or future partner has a different set of rules for himself and for you... this is the time to take off. But enough of this.

What I want to say is that if your hurting, your mad, your being driven crazy with grief and you feel lost and betrayed. Start loving yourself again. Go to the gym, workout. Go the spa, get a massage. Go get yourself pampered, retail therapy helps too!

So to all you breakup victims. Best of luck and if you love yourself you will find someone who loves you as well!